Mmmmmmmmmm Monday

So today I wanted to show you pictures of the wedding soup recipe I posted last week. The wedding soup - although weight watchers - was very good! I really like turkey meatballs but I really hate making them. I am not a huge meat person so it is very hard for me to have my hands in that gooey gross meat. The weather is crappy this week so soup is the perfect option to warm me up.

Also - I got my food tracker/planner in the mail and I love it! I highly recommend it for someone that likes using a pencil and paper planner and also tracks their food.

http://www.planitdiet.com/about-us.html

Shrinking Sunday

Well - Shrinking Sunday January was a bust! I lost nothing this month but I do think I have gained some insight into what makes me tick. I bought my YMCA pass and my monthly bus pass so I wont have any excuse to not get to the gym daily.

Here is my new aerobics class schedule:

Monday - Zumba
Tuesday - Core and More
Wednesday - Body Pump and Zumba
Thursday - Turbo Kick
Friday - Core and More
Saturday - Off
Sunday - Weekend Warrior

I am also going to do some weight training on top of the cardio classes.

Sweet Sweet Saturday

My Saturday was really nice. I have started my Wellbutrin and I am feeling more awake. When I am depressed I get really tired and I could sleep for a while day - no problem! Well today I didn't nap - this was the first time in months that I didn't sleep my whole Saturday away. At night I spent the night with old friends having dinner and playing pictionary. We Had the best time ever! We laughed so much it was ridiculous!

Fashion Friday

So this Friday I decided that I was going to dress up. I was feeling so crappy about myself this week and nothing helps more than primping and going out with friends! My big plan was to wear a black cotton dress, cardigan and a pretty scarf. So I put it on and I felt super cute but then there was the ongoing issue of winter shoe wear. I have some ugly black fake uggs that would have actually probably looked cute on someone with slender legs, but on me it made my legs look like tree trunks. All of my other shoes were too dressy for where we were going so I gave up on the cute outfit. I decided to wear jeans with the cardigan and scarf...shocking I know.

Allison fashion = black cardigan, black tank top, a scarf, big earrings, dark wash jeans, flats

I wonder what Allison fashion will be once I reach my weight loss goals?!?!

Thriving Thursday

So after yesterdays post I thought to myself - this blog is becoming a downer. Then I got an email from a friend this morning who agreed that I have focusing more on the negative than the positive. I guess I have been focusing on the negative because I have been feeling pretty negative as of late. I gave a lot of thought today about what is thriving in my life...I think aside from all of my emotional ups and downs, I am learning a lot about myself lately. I am really trying to realize why I eat when I do, why I self-sabotage, and why I struggle so much.

One thing I have really realized lately is that my problems stem from an addiction. I am addicted to food. Heroin addicts break their addictions by detoxing and avoiding drugs. A person with a food addiction can not just detox from food and then avoid it for the rest of their life. What I can do is detox my body from unhealthy processed foods and then only fill it with healthy foods that will fuel me.

Since I can't avoid food all together, I decided that I can avoid my biggest addictions all together. My biggest food addictions are pizza with ranch and macaroni and cheese. When I binge, I binge on these foods. A binge will get me off track for a couple days to a couple of months. Its like a relapse for a heroin addict.

My plan - I will no longer eat pizza or mac and cheese - I'm taking control of this addiction!!! Addicts cut out what they are addicted to and that's what I am doing. Some people may see this as extreme and people always say you can deprive yourself....so I wont. I will give myself pizza or mac and cheese when I reach goals.

I can treat myself to my drug of choice when I reach:
245
220
200
185
170
155

My Thriving Thursday is all about taking control!!!!!!!!

(I ordered pizza tonight...just to say goodbye)

Whiny Wednesday

Today I am going to whine about Taylor Swift. I am not sure why everyone thinks she is soooooo talented. Every time I hear her sing live, she is flat; her songs are annoying; and she always acts sooooo surprised when she wins something. Get over yourself!

Side note: My psychiatrist put me back on Wellbutrin for my cycling moods and depression. I was on Wellbutrin about a year ago and I didn't think I needed it anymore - apparently I do. It is hard to treat depression for someone with weight issues because most of the depression meds cause weight gain. Wellbutrin actually can help some people lose weight. Unfortunately, I didn't not lose weight on Wellbutrin, but I didn't gain it. Hopefully getting my depression in check will in turn help my motivation to take care of myself!

What are you whining about on this Wednesday?

Truthful Tuesday

Giving up.....

For the past 2 weeks I feel like I have given up; like I have no motivation at all. Why has this happened and why do I cycle like this. I'm motivated for 2 weeks then I die for a month.

It's self sabotage, but why?

I go to the psychiatrist tomorrow for a three month med check, so I am going to mention to her my cycling moods.

Its sad but sometimes ordering a new planner motivates me so get organized and on track. I ordered a new planner tonight and hopefully I will get it this week.

http://www.planitdiet.com/index.html

This planner organizes life as well as workouts and diets.

Lets hope for the best. As far as motivation goes, I found a very motivating picture from DC Pride just a year and a half ago. How I went from 215 to 270 in a year in a half is beyond me. Also - I never thought a "skinny" picture of me would be a pic where I weight 215 pounds....eek!

Mmmmmmmmmm Monday

This week's recipe is Weight Watchers Wedding Soup!

I love wedding soup so hopefully a healthy version will be super!

Wish me luck!

PointsPlus™ Value: 2
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 18 min
Cooking Time: 20 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

Ingredients

1/2 pound(s) uncooked ground turkey breast
1 large egg white(s), lightly beaten
2 Tbsp dried bread crumbs
1 1/2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
1 1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp garlic powder
8 cup(s) fat-free chicken broth
2 cup(s) escarole, thinly sliced
1/2 cup(s) onion(s), sweet-variety, thinly sliced
1/3 cup(s) shredded carrots

Instructions

In a medium bowl, combine turkey, egg white, bread crumbs, cheese, oregano and garlic powder; shape into 3/4-inch balls.

In a large saucepan, heat broth to boiling; stir in escarole, onion, carrot and meatballs. Return soup to boiling and then reduce heat to medium; cook at a slow boil for 15 minutes. Soup is done when meatballs float to the top and escarole is wilted. Yields about 1 1/2 cups of soup and 5 to 6 meatballs per serving.
Notes

Make this soup even more traditional by adding small cooked noodles to the broth (could affect PointsPlus values).

Shrinking Sunday

I am not weighing myself this week! I'm feeling depressed about my weight and I know weighing myself will just make me upset. I am going to be on track this week and turn this around. I am excited to check out the YMCA this week and hopefully start to get excited about working out again! Smooches!

Sweet Sweet Saturday

Today was awesome! I had a nice day with a close friend - Sex and the City, girl talk, and snuggling on the couch! After girls day, I went to the Pens game with Steve. I had never been to the new Consol Energy Center. It is so nice in there! There isn't one bad seat in the whole building! I was having a pretty fat feeling day since I was wearing Steve's Pens jersey and it was manly and boxy. I am excited to be thinner and wear cute girls sports gear!

Fashion Friday

Nothing fashionable today - I had a horrible outfit on at work and then I didnt go out tonight so I had on sweats, a tank top and slippers. SEXIEST!

Hopefully next week I will have a more exciting fashionable day. haha.

Thriving Thursday

One word - Excited!

I have been watching a lot of weight loss shows - Biggest Loser, Heavy and I Used to be Fat. These three shows have really given me a lot of motivation and I am excited for my future. I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I have had a shift in my mindset. Instead of saying "If I lose weight," this week I have been saying "when I lose weight."

I can do this!

Veggie Soup SUCCESS!

Cut up ingredients: garlic, thyme, spinach, mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, onions, celery

Finished soup - YUM!

INGREDIENTS
2 clove(s) (medium) garlic clove(s), minced
1 medium onion(s), diced
2 medium carrot(s), diced
1 medium sweet red pepper(s), diced
1 stalk(s) (medium) celery, diced
2 small zucchini, diced
2 cup(s) green cabbage, shredded
2 cup(s) Swiss chard, chopped
2 cup(s) cauliflower, small florets
2 cup(s) broccoli, small florets
2 tsp thyme, fresh, fresh, chopped
6 cup(s) vegetable broth
2 Tbsp parsley, or chives, fresh, chopped
1/2 tsp table salt, or to taste
1/4 tsp black pepper, or to taste
2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice, optional
Instructions

Put garlic, vegetables, thyme and broth into a large soup pot. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat; reduce heat to low and simmer, partly covered, about 10 minutes.

Stir in parsley or chives; season to taste with salt, pepper and lemon juice. Yields about 1 cup per serving.

Whiny Wednesday

So I have to be honest and I'm not feeling super whiny right now, which I know is quite rare. I guess if I have to whine then I will whine about my annoyance with my gym options.

Here are my options

Zumba in Moon - 45 minute drive in rush hour

Urban Active - 45 minute drive in rush hour

Southside Athletic Club - close and convenient but really bad classes

Modern Formations Zumba - classes are good but dont start until 6:45

Downtown YMCA - good classes and a swimming pool - no parking


So I think my decision is to go with the YMCA. I have been pretty annoyed with my shuttle situation for work lately so I think I am going to get back to riding the bus to work. If I ride the bus to work then I can take the bus after work to the YMCA and I wont have to worry about parking. Also - this will eliminate the chance of me coming home and getting unmotivated on the couch. I think this will be my plan starting in February. I heard a rumor that UPMC can take the bus pass out of my pay check before taxes. This could be the key to finding me!

Wish me luck!

I will whine about this situation till its fixed! Eventually I will get certified as a zumba instructor and I will open my own studio and this wont be an issue!

Truthful Tuesday

I think before you can figure out what makes you succeed in your goals, you have to pin point what derails you from meeting your goals. For truthful Tuesday, I have decided to make a list of all of the "reasons" I haven't succeeded in my weight loss goals.


1. Forgetting to pack my lunch: When I dont pack my lunch, I end up in the hospital cafeteria at work and I always pick a burger and fries over a salad. It is almost impossible for me to make a healthy choice when there is temptation around.

2. Going home after work: If I go home after work before going to workout, I end up on my couch, most likely ordering a pizza.

3. Being hungover: Lets be honest - you dont want to eat a salad and workout when you're hungover, you want something greasy and a nap.

4. Stopping at the store before going home: If I go to the store on my way home from work, I will most likely be hungry and buy a box of mac and cheese and a candy bar.

5. Missing a workout: I'm an all or nothing person (one of my biggest problems according to my therapist)! If I miss a workout, I tend to get off track quickly and for a long time.

6. Being tired: Being tired is always my biggest challenge! Its crazy because when I workout I have more energy and I am so much more motivated to stay on track. Once I am off track, I am more tired and it is almost impossible to get back.

NEW GOAL - try my hardest to avoid everything on this list!

Mmmmmmmmmm Monday

So change of plans for Mmmmmmm Monday. Although I am going to continue to try a new recipe every week, I think it would be more productive for me to plan out my meals for the week on Mondays for Mmmmm Monday. I need to be prepared and planned and I tend to do a lot better. This week I am making veggie soup that I will be eating for dinners. Here is my meal plan for the week and my workout plan:

Tuesday:
B - Whole wheat cereal, banana, skim milk
S - Light Yogurt
L - Turkey, spinach and reduced fat provolone sandwich, 100 calorie pack
S - Snap Peas, Garlic hummus
D - Veggie Soup, mixed green salad, fat free ranch, garlic whole wheat toast

WO - Zumba 6:45 - 7:45

Wednesday
B - 2 Eggs, spinach, while wheat English muffin skim milk
S - Light Yogurt
L - Chicken salad sandwich, 100 calorie pack
S - Snap Peas, Garlic hummus
D - Veggie Soup, mixed green salad, fat free ranch, garlic whole wheat toast

WO - Free day at Southside Athletic Club 5:00-?

Thursday
B - Brown sugar oatmeal, banana, skim milk
S - Light Yogurt
L - Turkey, spinach and reduced fat provolone sandwich, 100 calorie pack
S - Snap Peas, Garlic hummus
D - Veggie Soup, mixed green salad, fat free ranch, garlic whole wheat toast

WO - Zumba 6:00-7:00

Friday
B - 2 eggs, spinach, skim milk, banana
S - Light Yogurt
L - Turkey, spinach and reduced fat provolone sandwich, 100 calorie pack
S - Snap Peas, Garlic hummus
D - Veggie Soup, mixed green salad, fat free ranch, garlic whole wheat toast

WO - Zumba 6:00 - 7:00

Saturday
B - Whole wheat cereal, banana, skim milk
S - Light Yogurt
L - Tuna Salad, flax seed crackers, apple
S - Snap Peas, Garlic hummus
D - Veggie Soup, mixed green salad, fat free ranch, garlic whole wheat toast

WO - Zumba 11:00-12:00

Sunday
Free Day
Steelers Party

Swelling Sunday

Current Weight: 265.0
Weekly Loss: +.06
Loss-to-Date: 6.4

So - This week was bad! BAD BAD BAD! But if I have to pick something to be positive about, I will point out that I didnt workout and I didnt stick to my diet and I only gained .06 pounds. Prior to the new 2011 Allison, I would have binged the whole week and gained 5 pounds in a week - no problem. So - I start again tomorrow and I will have a negative number next week. I will follow the LabBand nutirion guide and I will workout 4x this week. Below are my workout options.

Monday: Zumba, 1 hour
Tuesday Zumba, 1 hour
Wednesday: Kettlebells, 40 minutes
Thursday: Zumba, 1 hour
Friday: Wii Fit, 1 hour
Saturday: Zumba, 1 hour

Cheers to a happy and healthy week!

Sweet Sweet Saturday

Saturday sure was SWEEEEET!

Steelers beat the Ravens! Nothing better than that! I wasn't hungover so I went to Ruggers with Andrea and Jon to watch the game. The energy at Ruggers was awesome and really made me realize what I missed while I was gone in VA. I love my city and I love the spirit of the fans! Next Sunday is the next game! HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!!!

Fashion Friday

So its hard to decide which part of plus size fashion to talk about because so much of it makes me mad. The one that makes me the most angry is knee high boots. All I want is to be able to wear boots and still look cute. If you have fat legs or even muscular legs, you basically cant enjoy this style. In the winter I have the option to wear my normal flats with stockings, sneakers, or ugly not flattering low rise boots. This makes me crazy and my feet very cold, because you know I decide to choose the flats so I still look cute. I wish plus size stores sold boots that were the same cute styles you see in other stores. Although not as cute, here are a couple websites you can buy wider calf boots.

www.Zappos.com/WideCalfBoots
www.widewidths.com/
www.torrid.com

Thriving Thursday

So....I have to talk about something positive and thriving in my life....

To be honest this is a very hard topic this week. My spark from last week is gone and I have been meh about eating well/working out. The best thing that happened this week actual happened this evening. I went to Magee for my first Lapband meeting. I went through a module and weighed in. Starting this process, and looking forward to a monthly weigh in did bring the spark back just a bit. I really want to avoid this surgery at all cost so I have to get serious. My goals for this month are:

Behavioral: Stay positive - If I mess up a meal - move on - make the next meal on plan
Nutritional: Limit alcohol consumption to once a week.
Physical: One hour of Zumba at least 3x a week

After speaking to the woman in charge of the classes, I think I am going to quit weight watchers. I don't really have the $40 every month and I will have to log all of my food and turn it in to my insurance anyway so I can't be turning in points values. If I go ahead with the surgery, I will be referring to calories, not points, so I need to get used to it now. I have weekly weigh ins now at work with our weight race and my monthly insurance weigh in with the lapband - I think I have the support I need without weight watchers.

Wish me luck!

Whiny Wednesday

Today I want to whine about how shitty I have been doing with the diet and workout. I get so thrown off so easily. All it took this time was my bday and a broken finger and BAM - we have a binge. Tonight I had pizza and brownies. GROSS! I know my weight loss is not going to be good this week and I have nothing to blame it on except me and my inability to stick with a healthy lifestyle! I wonder how I ever got to 270 pounds and its weeks and weeks like today added up to tons of weight gain. I hate gaining weight and I feel shitty when I binge - so why do I do it? This will be the key to my weight loss. Once I figure this out, I feel that I will be able to maintain a healthy and happy life. Hopefully through this blog, my support groups and feedback I will learn more and more about myself and avoid days like today in the future! I promise to be honest in this blog and when I binge or get sidetracked, I will post it. This will keep me honest with you and myself. No more hiding!

Tomorrow is my first class for Lapband surgery. Hopefully that will give me the kick in the ass that I need.

Todays WHINE - BINGES!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Truthful Tuesday

So today I want to be truthful about the inability to cross your legs when you're over weight. As a female, the ability to cross your legs is something most people take for granted. Sitting at the bar with your legs crossed makes you feminine and cute. Once you lose the ability, you almost feel like a man with huge balls or something. If I want to cross my legs, I have to have the leg of the table to hook my toe on or my huge leg will shoot out of the crossed position like a bullet. If by chance I am able to get my legs crossed, I will most likely only be able to do it for a few minutes before my legs either go numb or begin to hurt. I can not imagine what it is going to be like the day I can finally cross my legs again! Femininity here I come!

PS - I joined the Weight Race at work and tomorrow is my first weigh-in. Competition at its finest....weeeeeeeeeee!

Mmmmmmmmmm Monday

Welp .... unfortunately Mmmmmmm Monday has to be cancelled. This morning I slammed my thumb in my car door. I tried to go to work but while sitting in the lot waiting for the shuttle, I decided I needed stitches. I went to urgent care and not only did I need stitches, but they also told me it is fractured. Monday morning fail. I always wondered how people possibly slammed their fingers in door - apparently its really easy to do! Long story short, I could barely put a bobby pin in my hair a little while ago, so I didnt want to try a new recipe that would require me to chop things up. Next week's Mmmmm Monday will be Weight Watchers 1 point soup!

Shrinking Sunday

Current Weight: 264.4
Weekly Loss: 7
Loss-to-Date: 7

***I will upload a picture the first Sunday of every month***

Sweet Sweet Saturday

So today is my 28th bday! I started my bday by sleeping till 12:00, then getting an oil change, then to the eye doctor and finally to my parents. Such an exciting Bday! But then I clipped my weave in and went to Double Wide Grill with my closest friends! We had food and drinks and went back to Andrea's house for drinks a wonderful cake that Andrea made for me. I have the best friends! I'm a very lucky girl! After Andrea's we went down to Bar 11 and drank way too many drinks! It was an easy and fun bday! Although I don't have the energy to go to Bar 11 often, when I do go it is amazing!

So as for being healthy - I stayed on track until dinner. At dinner I ordered a burger and fries and I cut the burger in half, vowing to only eat 1/2. Well that didn't work - I ended up eating the whole thing! I guess I'm allowed to go off track on my bday!

Fashion Friday

So when I lived in VA, it was a trend were I worked to have jewelry parties. I must have gone to 5 jewelry parties in a year. The hostesses were always cheesy and the jewelry overpriced. I had heard their same speech party after party. One thing I remember at every party was the women pushing the idea of wearing large earrings to make you look thinner. They women would say when you're in a bathing suit you should wear big earrings and they will make your body look smaller. Have you ever heard of more bullshit in your life? How is 2 inch earring going to make my 270 pound body smaller...DUMB! So every time I wear big earrings I think about that. I do not think my earrings make me look smaller, but I do think they are cute and they make me happy. So lately I have decided to wear more earrings. I'm really having fun playing with big earrings, especially when I wear my hair up. Here is a picture of my latest earring purchase. FUN!

Thriving Thursday

I have to say for the first time in a long time I am feeling pretty positive about things. Since my highest weight (not my starting weight for this blog.....yes I was even higher than that) I have lost 11.4 pounds. I haven't been working out a ton, but my diet has been pretty awesome! I am sticking to weight watchers religiously. Tonight I ate more than I wanted to but when I did the points, I found out I was only 2 points over my allotted daily amount. The way weight watchers works you get some extra points each week to use for special occasions. I NEVER use those points so I will just say my extra tonight came out of that allotment. I hope my weekend birthday extravaganza doesnt get me off track this weekend! If I go a little crazy, I will just make sure I am back at it first thing Monday morning.

Whiny Wednesday

So today I get to bitch. Today I am annoyed at myself for gaining so much weight. I had a nice long conversation tonight with my old Zumba buddy from VA and I had to tell her that since she last saw me I gained another 50 pounds. I wonder to myself - why did I let this happen? With each pound I gain then more and more depressed I get. The more depressed I get the harder it is to lose the weight.

"I'll start Monday" "This is my last meal""When I'm skinny I will...."

How many times do we say these things and procrastinate?! You put it off and put it off and say it will take too much time to lose all the weight you need to lose. Then its a year later and 40 pounds heavier and you realize, time will pass either way, why not use that time to get healthy. So sounds easy right?

I think what makes me really mad is that for some people it is really easy. I am so envious of these people that lose weight the first time they try. I can't remember a time since I was in 7th grade that I was not concerned about my weight. There are people that go about life and are skinny and dont ever have to think about it! THIS IS NOT FAIR. I can say that kind of whiny comment because its Whiny Wednesday....So fuck you naturally skinny people :)

Truthful Tuesday: Chafing

Chafe: To cause irritation of the skin by friction

There is no area in the world with more friction than the area in between my thighs. I think normal sized people really take for granted the ability to walk without having a brush fire in between their legs. I was very aware of this recently when I went to NYC with my fam and by the end of the day I thought I could possibly lose a thigh. After 6 hours of traipsing around the streets in Greenwich Village and China Town, my thighs were so sore, burning and puffy that the thought of walking one more step was killing me. After a day like this I have to put neosporin on my thighs and wear leggings for a few days to make sure my thighs never touch again!

Walking is something people should not take for granted! Obviously I can still walk, but the chafing is not a huge motivator to move! I look forward to the day when I can sightsee and not be hindered by my body!

Mmmmmmmmmm Monday

Well - My goal to try a new recipe each week has been a success. Today I tried making Prosciutto-Wrapped Asparagus. I had never had Prosciutto so when I saw this recipe on the Weight Watchers website, I decided to make this my new food for this week. Well turns out I should probably make this week Blah Monday instead of Mmmm Monday. I DO NOT LIKE PROSCIUTTO!

Here is the finished product. Come to think of it, the recipe calls for balsamic vinegar and black pepper - two things Im not a fan of! Haha. Well week one fail. Next week I am going to attempt a soup!

Recipe - 2 points for 2

Ingredients (From the Weight Watchers website)

	1/2 tsp table salt, for cooking water
	1 pound(s) asparagus, thick spears, ends trimmed (about 20 per bunch)
	6 oz Casa Italia Prosciutto, or other brand, thinly sliced into 20 pieces
	1 Tbsp light cream cheese
	1 tsp balsamic vinegar, good-quality
	1/8 tsp black pepper, freshly ground, or to taste

Instructions

• Lightly spread a dab of cream cheese down center of each prosciutto rectangle
  
• Wrap prosciutto around asparagus so it covers stalks.
• Sprinkle with vinegar and season with several grinds of black pepper just before serving.
  

Shrinking Sunday

Current Weight: 271.4
Weekly Loss: 0
Loss-to-Date: 0

Goals for 2011

I am hoping to lose at least 70 pounds this year. I know this a lot, but there is a chance I will be undergoing the LapBand procedure this coming summer. I will be doing a 6 month medically advised diet for the next 6 months and then I will get the surgery this summer. I have started Weight Watchers and if I have success, I will not be undergoing the surgery. This is the year of Allison and happiness!!!

Getting Started

So after 28 years of failing every goal I've ever set, I am ready to stick to one. Well - 2 really. The first goal is to make 2011 healthy and happy and the second goal is to document it all right here on this blog. I have started a competition with my bestie to see who can continue our blogs for a full year. I love competition and more importantly I LOVE BEATING HIM! On top of the satisfaction of proving him wrong, I feel that the blog will hold me accountable for meeting my goals and not quitting yet again.

I will blog every day about different topics

Shrinking Sunday (Weight Watchers Weigh-in and picture update)
Mmmmm Monday (I will try 1 new healthy recipe each week and give feedback)
Truthful Tuesday (I will be truthful about the private world of being overweight)
Whiny Wednesday (This is my day to vent and complain....my favsies)
Thriving Thursdays (I have to talk about an accomplishment that week)
Fashion Friday (I will discuss clothing and weight)
Sweet Sweet Saturday (my free day to do nothing and have my cheat meal)