Friday, February 25, 2011

Fashion Friday

Today we shall talk about JEANS!

To me - Jeans are by far the most important item in your wardrobe as well as the hardest item to buy. When your jeans don't fit, your whole outfit is bad. There are so many bad jeans out there. There are also a lot of jeans out there that are made in plus sizes but should never ever be wore by anyone over a size 8.

My 10 tips to buying jeans in plus size:
  1. Make sure your jeans have a little stretch to them. This will show off your curves, as well as avoid that gap you get in the back because your ass is bigger than your waist. Most larger women should avoid skinny jeans because they accentuate your larger hips and ass.
  2. Make sure the jeans are a medium rise. Low rise jeans will give you a muffin top and your crack will be hanging out. On top of that, lets be honest, there is nothing comfortable about hanging out of your clothes. Now on the other hand, make sure your jeans are not all the way up to your boobs. I have been a victim of this way of wearing my jeans. You might think that wearing high rise jeans will flatten your belly, but it actually just smooths it and then shows it off because your skin is flabbing over the jeans under your boobs. BAD BAD BAD.
  3. A straight leg is best. Make sure your jeans are not too tapered or too flared. You want to create a straight line from your hips to your ankles, as to not make your hips/ass look larger.
  4. Pockets - you need them. A jean with no ass pockets usually makes your butt look bigger. Also - jeans with pockets that are small make your ass look bigger. We don't want our ass to look bigger so make sure the pockets are a good fit to your bum.
  5. Distressing - Hard to pull off. Most jeans with a distressed look bring attention to areas you don't want to highlight. Also - some jeans have lighter areas on them, usually on the thighs, and make you thighs looks like tree trunks. A dark wash jean is always the best for camouflaging.
  6. Size - I know we all want to fit into the smaller size, but the truth is, you're going to look bigger and feel worse about yourself if you're spilling out of jeans that don't fit. Buy the bigger size, look better and feel better.
  7. Bling - blah! I have noticed that most jeans in plus size stores have hideous jewels and designs on the butts and thighs. I don't understand why the designers think that fat girls want to look like a Christmas tree. You know what really makes me mad - Lane Bryant has Seven jeans, which in normal sizes are awesome jeans, but for some insane reason, Seven decided they needed to cover their plus size jeans in bling.
  8. Obviously no pleats
  9. Make sure the jeans are the right length. If they are a dressier jean, make sure they will not flood if you decide to wear heals. Flooded jeans make you look frumpy.
  10. SIT DOWN - when you're trying on jeans, remember to sit down in the dressing room. We do not live our lives standing and we need to see what we look like when we sit and the flabby stomach comes rolling over the jeans. Also - you want to make sure that you will be able to breath when you sit.

Here are some examples of horrid jeans for plus size gals!


  1. "3. A straight leg is best. Make sure your jeans are not too tapered or too flared. You want to create a straight line from your hips to your ankles, as to not make your hips/ass look larger."

    I didn't know there was such a thing as too flared for you.

  2. 1. you're a comedian and i love you. 2. i can hear you saying jewel the way you do. 3. i love when you reveal that your jeans are up to your boobs. it's always such a surprise.

  3. i would love to see our Google history of looking for those pictures!

  4. Thanks for this post. I am a fellow muffin top hater and I love good jeans:)